Swizzels Matlow

Right, to cut a long story short: I wrote a letter to Swizzels Matlow confectioners a couple of weeks back as part of a feature for the last show. However unfortunately they didn’t get back to me in time so I just read out the email and the feature flumped [arrrrr confectionary joke!]. However, today I got a reply from the powers behind such big hits as Love Hearts, Refresher Bars, Drum Sticks and Double Dips.

So here is the letter I wrote to them two weeks ago:

Swizzels Matlow Ltd.
Carlton House
Albion Road
New Mills
High Peak
Derbyshire
SK22 3HA

28th February 2007

Dear Mr. Swizzel and Mr. Matlow,

First of all let me tell you how much I enjoy and have enjoyed your sweets over much of my childhood years. Many an afternoon as a twelve year old I have scoured the playground for coppers that were expelled as projectiles by bullies in order to purchase a refresher bar from the tuck shop. That sugary hit was just what I needed to take me through the rest of my school day.

Not a great deal has changed ten years on, and I still regularly purchase a lemon or strawberry flavoured refresher bar from my student’s union shop to get me through my afternoon lectures. However, imagine my shock one day when I purchased a strawberry refresher bar [please find enclosed] as a boost for Time Series Econometrics only to find that it failed to contain a ‘lovely refreshing centre’. I felt somewhat hard done by, especially after purchasing a second strawberry refresher bar the following day on the assumption that the latter was a freak incident, but only to find that this refresher bar was in an equally less refreshing state.

I appreciate that quality and value for money are core to the principals of Swizzel Matlows and I thought that this incident should be brought to your attention in order that future students and twelve year olds alike will not suffer the same fate as I that dreary Monday afternoon. The listeners of The Andrew Jackson Show* and I look forward to hearing your reply in the near future.

Regards

Andrew Jackson
Aged 21 years and 10 months

* The Andrew Jackson Show broadcasts on Manchester’s Student Radio Station Fuse FM online and on air [Manchester only] on www.fusefm.co.uk and 103.5 FM respectively. Tune in 4-6pm Wednesday 7th March for the last ever episode of this award winning show.

The kind people at Swizzels Matlow dutifully replied on March 2 [you can read their full reply by clicking the thumbnail to the right], but alas the parcel just didn’t make it to my hands on time, otherwise its contents may have been distributed to the studio audience, or given away as a prize.

The moral of the story I believe is to have faith in your confectionery company and in turn they will deliver [subject to Royal Mail]. I’m also glad that the ladies and gentlemen at Swizzels Matlow had a sense of humour and didn’t take me to court. In the mean time I will enjoy destroying my teeth and getting on sugar highs while I write my dissertation. Bonus.

5 thoughts on “Swizzels Matlow

  1. Oh the irony, just tucking into a lemon refresher bar and its missing its refreshing centre. Maybe the whole lot of sweets is from dodgy stock?

  2. Are these sweets even halal???? Please give me details of how you obtain the gelatine used and how the animal is slaughtered to obtain tje gelatine…..thanks

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